We're facebook friends in real life
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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