More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
