You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
