and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
