He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
