I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
