why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
