im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize