dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
