Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
