No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
