Three words: puerto rican gang bang
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
