How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
