Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
