Where is the hickey?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize