I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
