don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
