Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Randomize
