Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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