If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
