who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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