day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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