Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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