I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
