That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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