Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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