ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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