He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
