I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
