So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
