there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There's always time for handjobs
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize