she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
