I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
