I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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