Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
