As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
