He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
