Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
