On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He has the fingertips of a God
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