dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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