You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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