I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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