Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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