I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
