3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
