For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You may now shotgun with the bride
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
