i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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