sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
