I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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