i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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