Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize