You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
