I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize