Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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