He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
