I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
