Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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