She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize