kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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