wanna go halves on a baby?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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