what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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