Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize