ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
