i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Less talking, more tequila
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
