as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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