Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
