I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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