Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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