I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
