I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
His nipple licking is glorious
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