Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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