I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
