Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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