dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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