plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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